Photo by Nsey Benajah on Unsplash

*This article was originally posted Mar. 27, 2023 and reflects my thoughts and beliefs at that point in time.

We, ourselves, live a fragmented existent and don’t even realize it. These fragments construct our everyday lives, from our reactions, to what we perceive, to what we experience. We are the authors of our lives. Our world is made through what we perceive. Our thoughts and beliefs shape our world. Our thoughts and beliefs are influenced by what we were taught as children, the society we grew up and function in, the culture we were raised in, and the thoughts and beliefs of the ones closest to us. Our experiences shape our way of thinking, thus then shapes the world we live in individually and collectively. After a while we begin to lose ourselves as we take on many influences that aren’t true to who we really are.

One way we begin to lose ourselves is through the trauma we experience.

This is explained in greater detail through the study of epigenetics. Through epigenetics they have discovered that trauma plays a significant role in how our genes are expressed within individuals and lineages. Meaning even the trauma our ancestors have endured can and is affecting us. The trauma our parents have endured can and is affecting us. The trauma we have endured can and is affecting our children. Trauma is inherited. Certain mental or medical disorders or illnesses can be expressed through trauma.

Trauma is one of those things that can have a multilevel effect on us. In a spiritual aspect, trauma has the ability to fragment our soul. It’s like a child that has just be scolded and runs away to hide. As a matter fact, that’s exactly what happens. Soul fragmentation mostly occurs in childhood but can occur at any time and any age in a person’s life. It happens when there’s a shock to that individual, such as during the years of exploration as a child when the rules and expectations proposed by parents, peers, schools, and structured extracurricular activities and events influence how that child should think, act, and behave. We are in our most natural, freest state as children until we’re not. We are usually met with harsh realities of how the world outside of ours functions. We learn at an early age how to conform ourselves and our world to meet that of the world outside of ourselves. The process of losing ourselves begins before we even get to know who we are.

Through this change we begin to hold thoughts and beliefs that aren’t true to us. We begin to think negatively about ourselves, which then in turn disrupts our inner peace. Our inner world begins to mirror in the outside world. The ugliness we see in ourselves, we begin to find in the outside world, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you consciously or unconsciously tell or give the insinuation to a child that they are bad, then they will start to see that within themselves. That thought will permeate in the darkest depths of their mind, as they will be unable to see the good within themselves. It will begin to affect their confidence, their self-esteem, their will power, begin to feel like they don’t belong, begin to show anxiety issues, they may begin to show negative behavior at home or in school, and can even begin to have digestive issues. They may mirror those same words or actions out towards their toys or peers. If they continue this mindset without being consciously aware of it, as adults, they may began to limit their possibilities for achievement, feel like they are being judged my others, may become very judgmental of others, their anxiety issues as a child may explode into full out panic attacks, they may begin to treat their lovers indifferently, and they may be diagnosed with IBS or intestinal cancer. They may begin to show the same mannerisms imposed on them towards their children, thus continuing the cycle. That gleaming light within them that they once had as a child, isn’t there anymore. This just a very limited example used to get the point across, but the matter of the fact is that trauma can have a very significant impact on individuals physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

It becomes the driving force behind who we present ourselves as today. Trauma is paradoxical. It is the events, feelings, and emotions that originated from our past that control how we see ourselves in the present. When an event or situation triggers us, our brain travels back to the past where we encountered a similar situation and drags up those feelings and emotions that had to do with that past situation and we react accordingly. Many people don’t realize to what extent this affects them in their everyday lives. Most people believe that unless it’s something like obvious like PTSD, then the past is just water under the bridge. They don’t know and/or understand how every negative thought or microaggression they have ever expressed is because of trauma they may or may not remember going through or trauma that their ancestors have went through recently or even centuries ago. Every negative thought and microaggression we express are directly related to how we see ourselves. Our triggers are, either consciously or unconsciously, reminding us about what we don’t like within ourselves.

We can’t erase what happened to us but we can use it as a building block; molding and shaping ourselves into the person we ultimately want to become. We can heal from our traumas. The first step to healing is to become aware.

Once we are aware of something, we have control over it.

Start to become aware of the microaggressions and negative thoughts you express in your everyday life. Start to question why you react or think in certain ways towards certain situations. Notice when your reactions or thoughts become repetitive. Start to see that every thing in your external world is a mirror reflecting your internal world. The world that revolves around you was especially created by you, for you. We often feel like we have no control over our lives, but what we don’t realize is that we have the greatest control. Once we form a belief or thought pattern, our minds will seek that truth out in everything we encounter. Those patterns become our reality. The only way to change our reality is to heal from that trauma and form a new, more beneficial belief or thought pattern in it’s place.

Photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash

Trauma is often linked to unprocessed feelings or emotions. So it would make sense that a foundation to healing would be to learn how to process our feelings and emotions. I will be completely transparent here. Processing emotions are a thing I am currently learning how to do myself. Growing up, I wasn’t taught skills of how to properly process my emotions. Based on the culture and society in which we grew up in, I feel like a lot of us weren’t taught these skills. In many cases, it’s a generational ideology. The previous generations, that of our parents and grandparents, were raised in a predominantly masculine society and mindset. It was seen as easier to suppress our emotions to be able to get on with your day and carry out the needed tasks. In many ways, emotions were viewed as a weakness. With the upturn of feminine energy penetrating the world, we are finally realizing the way we have been carrying ourselves for the past quite a few centuries is no longer serving us. We must change the way we see ourselves and the world. And that starts internally.

I also recommend reading or listening to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

(I was able to listen to it for free, with the Hoopla App, using my public library card.)

Below I have linked a great article written by Omar Itani titled How to Process Difficult Emotions in a Healthy Way.

https://www.omaritani.com/blog/how-to-process-difficult-emotions